


Dumpster Diving

by misura



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brothers, Canon - Movie, Gen, Pre-Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 15:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16519487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: From time to time, Taneleer suffered from a moment of melancholy, a soupcon of sentiment, an abundance of alliteration, in short (and in plain speech): a desire to visit his brother.





	Dumpster Diving

From time to time, Taneleer suffered from a moment of melancholy, a soupcon of sentiment, an abundance of alliteration, in short (and in plain speech): a desire to visit his brother.

So he made all the tiresome arrangements required to keep his collection safe, or just safe enough to guarantee that only _interesting_ people would try and steal something, and he took himself off to Sakaar, which a poet might describe as the great lost and found section of the universe.

Taneleer rather though it more closely resembled a trash heap.

 

As always, Sakaar never failed to disappoint on first sight.

"Look, who it is, everyone!"

Likewise, his beloved brother. On occasions such as these, Taneleer pondered the plausibility of adoption, unlikely as it seemed. Still, it made the situation slightly more bearable.

There was also the fact that 'everyone' consisted of very few people, none of whom looked even remotely worthy of adding to his collection. That was the true tragedy of Sakaar, really: Taneleer might have respected his brother opting to make the place his home if it led to his having built a collection of his own (though second in quality and quantity to Taneleer's own, it went without saying).

Instead, on every visit he was reminded that when sifting through trash, one tended to find more trash.

En Dwi beamed at him, holding out what appeared to be a rather primitive weapon of some sort.

"It's my brother, everyone! Brother, meet everyone. And whoops, let me get that out of your way. Wouldn't want you to be tempted to touch it or something. Who knows what might happen, eh?"

"Very little," Taneleer said.

En Dwi wagged a finger at him, the weapon having been handed back to what Taneleer presumed to be the person specifically acquired to carry it around. The creature seemed rather dull and unintelligent, which made it precisely the type of being likely to end up on Sakaar. "Now don't you give me that. Admit it, you want my melting stick. Well, you can't have it. It's mine, and I'm very fond of it. Fonder, almost, than I am of you."

Taneleer opened his mouth.

"I said 'almost'," En Dwi said quickly.

"It's called a molecular disintegrator and I have at least dozen of them," Taneleer said.

"You know, it's because you say things like that that nobody likes you. This moment, right now, even I don't like you, and you're family. If you can't like family, who can you like, that's what I always say. Isn't that what I always say, Topaz?"

"No," the creature holding the molecular disintegrator said.

"Anyway, welcome to Sakaar! You want a hug? Come on, give your brother a hug."

 

Hugs duly avoided, they retreated to what might be termed the palace. It wasn't much, but Taneleer supposed it was as good as things were likely to get and anyway, it was functional.

"You're not here to steal my new Champion are you? Because I would understand it if you were, got something really special this time, let me tell you, but, well. Business is business, and family is family, and it's best to keep the two separated. So why are you here?"

Taneleer considered possible replies. "Strictly a social visit."

"At your age? You been to any medical experts lately? Because it sounds to me like maybe you caught something unpleasant. Anyway, if you got your own melting stick, what does it smell like after you've used it, huh? And remember, if you lie, I'll know that you don't have any melting sticks of your own after all. That'd be pretty embarrassing, don't you think?"

The sheer amount of weapons produced by various races over the course of time was ... depressing, in a way. Impressive in another one. Taneleer wasn't much inclined to either view. To his knowledge, nobody had yet invented a weapon capable of killing him.

"Ah. You don't know, do you? He doesn't know," En Dwi told his stick carrier, who sneered.

Not at Taneleer specifically, he didn't think. It simply seemed to be its default facial expression. "Burnt toast," he said. "If memory serves. It has been a very long time since I've had occasion to use it."

" 'A long time since I've had occasion to use it.' I just love the way this guy talks. Don't you love the way this guy talks? Don't say 'yes' just because he's my brother now. Be honest. Don't you just love the way he talks?"

"No," it said, as Taneleer had rather assumed it would, had he bothered to give the matter any thought.

En Dwi's smile slipped for a fraction of a second. If Taneleer had blinked, he might have missed it. As it was, he once again lamented his inability to resist the lure of possibility, the siren call of collectables.

Someone, somewhere surely had to have thrown away something truly remarkable. Somewhere on the trash heaps, buried well and deep, had to be a justification for all of his many visits here. That he was unable to conceive of its essence, unable to even fathom its general shape in his mind only fueled his conviction of its existence, his anticipatory pleasure of the day on which he would behold the object in question.

"Anyway, thanks to your good timing, we've got some top-notch entertainment for you tonight. What've we got for my brother tonight, Topaz?"

More sneering. "Entertainment."

This time, Taneleer managed to blink. "I already said that," En Dwi said. " 'Top notch entertainment', that's what I said. But who am I talking to, you know all about it, of course. It's why you came, isn't it?"

Taneleer suppressed a perverse impulse to say 'no'. "I would have come regardless."

"I'm touched, really I am. In fact, I think this calls for another hug."

 

His brother hadn't been wrong about his new champion, Taneleer thought. He didn't think he'd seen its like, quite, but if it was strong and savage, so were many, many other beings.

Banter and teasing notwithstanding, Taneleer preferred for his visits to remain amiable. Something easily concealed might be slipped into a pocket (or pocket dimension via transportable portal), its discovered absence to be smoothed over from a certain distance in both time and space.

Making off with one of Sakaar's fabled champions, on the other hand seemed a pleasure best left for a day on which his brother had truly vexed him.

"You know, I heard this incredible rumor the other way, really, it's going to blow your mind when I tell you. You ready?"

Taneleer forced himself to relax, to smile. Thinking of his impending departure helped.

"I don't think you're ready. Does he look ready to you?"

Topaz sneered. "Yes."

Taneleer wondered when his mind had decided to collect its name. By his next visit, the information would have become outdated, antiquated. Useless, like all the other things collected in this place, his brother very much included, although Taneleer supposed he might miss En Dwi, in the way one might miss one's right hand or left foot. (Replaceable in theory, but in practice, you'd always know the replacement to be a fake, a replacement.)

"But ready for what, that's the real question. Eh?"

Topaz kept quiet. Taneleer waited. Patience was a virtue, for the conscientous collector. Sooner or later, all things would come to him. It was merely a matter of time.

Besides, what more joy could there be if he ever completed his collection?

"Well, it's probably nothing, anyway," En Dwi said. "Rumors. I mean, an Infinity Stone, just sitting there in a bunch of ruins? Please."

For one, two heartbeats, Taneleer thought he might have forgotten how to breathe. "Where?"

"Whoa." En Dwi laughed, the sound somehow less grating than usual. "Mind: blown, definitely. Not to worry, I'll get you a map, how's that? Place doesn't look like much, but what can you do?"

"I will get someone to look into it," Taneleer said, with deliberate dignity.

"You're welcome," En Dwi said. "There. You forgot to actually say 'thank you', but I can tell you're just overflowing with gratitude and brotherly love and all that, so I'll pretend you said it and we'll take it from there. You're just going to have to get me something really good for my birthday."

Taneleer licked his lips. "I will see what I can do."

"Is it a new ship? I'd love to get a new ship. Know what else I love? Surprises. Love 'em! Don't I always say I love surprises?"

"Yes," Taneleer said, before Topaz even opened her mouth.

En Dwi beamed. "This guy! He gets me. I don't know how, he just does. So are you going to get me a shiny new ship for my birthday or what?"

Taneleer offered him a thin smile. "What I will get you must be a surprise."

"Well, if you're not going to tell me, then yes. Can't wait. Absolutely cannot wait. Topaz, how many more days until my birthday? We're throwing a big party, you know. Big party. You should come."

"One-thousand-five-hundred-and-sixty-three days," Topaz said.

En Dwi frowned. "That kind of sounds like a long time. How about tomorrow? That's a lot sooner."

Topaz sneered. "One day."

Taneleer rose. He'd have contact some Ravagers, he thought. They had a certain talent for dealing with the unexpected, as well as a tendency not to ask questions other than 'how many units are you going to pay us for this job?'. "If you will excuse me, I must speak to some people on a matter of some urgency."

Sakaar was a trash heap: if the rumor had ended up here, it would have ended up in other places.

"It's wrapping paper, isn't it? I like the kind with little pictures," En Dwi said. "Just putting that out there."


End file.
